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coworker says she loves shoplifting, asking to take over a selected individual’s job, and extra — Ask a Supervisor


It’s 5 solutions to 5 questions. Right here we go…

1. Coworker says she loves shoplifting

I’ve been angsting over a coworker interplay that I simply let go by. I’m the oldest and most domesticated individual in my office, however I strive onerous to not give off “work mother” vibes. Possibly I’ve been too profitable?

“Jane” works full-time in an admin function at our public library. She is contemporary out of highschool, so new to the office. She was chatting with “Cindy,” who shares my work house, when she began speaking about how a lot she loves shoplifting. She hastened so as to add that she takes issues solely from massive firms and clearly would by no means steal from the library, the place all our issues are free. She concluded, “I really like that I can say that right here.”

She emphatically can’t say that right here! She positively can’t say it in entrance of me! I don’t supervise her work nevertheless it’s hardly outdoors the realm of chance that somebody would ask me for an opinion on her and now I’ve main doubts about her integrity and her judgment.

What, if something, ought to I’ve stated within the second? She wasn’t even precisely speaking to me. Was I proper to disregard it? I’m apprehensive I appeared that I DO suppose shoplifting is okay.

“You actually can’t say that right here” would have been a advantageous response. Or, “Positively do not say that right here, or at any job.” Or, “Whoa, no, that’s not one thing it’s best to say at work.”

Nevertheless it’s so regular that you simply have been too stunned to say something within the second! And I don’t suppose anybody observing would come away assuming you condone stealing.

2. How do I speak about the place I went to varsity with out individuals assuming issues about me?

I’m in a part of my profession the place persons are, rightly, typically asking the place and in what I obtained my undergraduate coaching. I went to a not tremendous well-known school, however when individuals realize it they’re very conscious that it’s deeply religiously affiliated (necessary chapel, intensive spiritual coursework, strict behavioral code, and many others). I used to be spiritual once I attended there however am not anymore and am uncomfortable with individuals seeming to imagine that I nonetheless observe that religion once I inform them the place I went to highschool. However I really feel equally awkward launching into an “I used to be spiritual however I’m not anymore” spiel once I see that folks acknowledge the college. I’m pleased with the training that I obtained there and imagine it was sound so I don’t really feel the necessity to cover it general, I simply wish to keep away from the assumptions. Any recommendation for good verbiage to navigate these conditions?

“I’ve modified loads since I selected it.” Depart it there; it’s quick and sums it up with out going into defensive-sounding element.

That stated … if the college is understood for bigotry (one thing like Liberty College or related), there’s a excessive threat of individuals assuming you’re aligned with its anti-LGBTQ and anti-civil-rights views. Should you’re not, I’d make a degree of in search of different methods to exhibit that.

3. Can I ask an previous employer to take over a selected individual’s job?

This query is only theoretical, as I intend to be at my present job ceaselessly, however what are your ideas on calling up an previous employer and asking to take over a selected individual’s function? I usually wouldn’t dream of it however there are some things on this state of affairs that make me suppose there’s an outdoor likelihood this is likely to be okay:

1. My boss had been getting ready me for a supervisory function, and I solely didn’t transfer into that place due an organization acquisition the place they retained all their employees and somebody increased up the chain determined to maintain on the supervisor from the brand new firm.
2. I had been routinely doing a number of duties that ought to have been performed by this new supervisor, however she by no means obtained the dangle of it. Whereas I used to be working there, I couldn’t have informed you what she did on any given day, and he or she by no means appeared very educated about routine enterprise operations.
3. From what I perceive from workers I’m nonetheless in touch with, she’s routinely unavailable for hours at a time, mishandles routine technical points, and nonetheless can’t give primary solutions. The duties I’d been dealing with that ought to have been underneath her umbrella obtained handed on to a unique worker who’s on the identical stage I was.

I admit that she might have very time-intensive duties that hold her away from her cellphone, Groups, and electronic mail and should have intensive information of another a part of the enterprise that others aren’t conscious of. That stated, I’ve heard from a number of those that it appears to be like like she does nothing all day except for often micromanaging workers about minor points, and also you’d usually count on a supervisor to be extra accessible to their workers and to be extra educated in regards to the enterprise (particularly since she’s been there for happening 4 years now).

With all that in thoughts, wouldn’t it nonetheless be an overstep to name up and say, “I’d like to come back again and have so-and-so’s job”?

It might be overstepping. You may’t name up an organization you now not work for and say, primarily, “Hearth Jane and rent me as a substitute.”

However what you can do is discuss to whoever’s in command of that function and say, “If Jane ever strikes on, I’d be actually curious about speaking with you about transferring into that function.” And in the event that they’re sad with Jane’s efficiency, which may nudge them to get transferring on it (and understanding they’ve an individual they know and belief to take over can typically get individuals over the hump of “who will we ever discover to switch her?” if that’s one thing they’re caught on).

However for what it’s value, for somebody who doesn’t work there anymore (and who intends to be at your present job ceaselessly!) you sound too invested in what’s happening at your previous firm. You don’t have to suppose or care and even learn about any of this anymore!

4. Is that this the one time I ought to settle for a counteroffer?

I’ve learn your entire columns about not accepting counter-offers out of your present employer. I really like my present employer, however I utilized for an additional job considerably on a whim. See what I’m value in right this moment’s market. New Firm supplied me a job with a 24% improve in wage.

My present employer and I’ve been discussing selling me to a supervisor within the subsequent 2-3 years. Once I gave discover, they tried to counter-offer however the CFO wouldn’t improve my comp at the moment. However they stated the supervisor function can be included in subsequent yr’s price range and the wage within the supervisor function can be the identical as what this new job supply is.

The brand new job is more cash now, nevertheless it’s a marketing consultant function and never as secure from layoffs. My present job could be very secure. Does it make sense to remain?

That’s not likely a counter-offer. They’re not paying you extra! They’re promising they are going to subsequent yr … however they’re not doing it now, and all types of issues might change between at times. How will you are feeling if subsequent yr rolls round they usually inform you, whoops, there’s no cash within the price range for it now? (And to be clear, they wouldn’t must be planning on screwing you over for that to occur. One thing might come up that they take into account the next precedence or the price range may very well be tighter than anticipated.)

Select between your job and wage as they’re now and the opposite supply. The choice they’re attempting to persuade you’ll exist subsequent yr isn’t actual proper now. In the event that they wish to persuade you it’s, the way in which for them do that’s to really make these adjustments now.

Related horror tales:

my firm made a counter-offer to maintain me — and now could be attaching strings to it

my employer made me a counteroffer, then rescinded it

5. How can I get extra data on maternity depart with out beginning a dialog I’m not prepared for?

I simply came upon I’m pregnant (YAY!) and am struggling to get readability on maternity depart insurance policies for my group. I’m a couple of yr into my function. Realizing that beginning a household was in my future, I had made a degree of asking in regards to the tradition round household planning through the interview course of. I used to be assured that it’s a really parent-friendly office, as somebody on my crew was capable of take six months of depart not too long ago. They didn’t share the specifics of how she was ready to try this, although.

Now that I’m pregnant, I’m on the hunt for details about the depart I can take. I’ve searched our advantages web site, however all I’m seeing are state-mandated 12-week parental depart insurance policies. I additionally dug up the advantages documentation I used to be offered on the time of my rent, which doesn’t spell it out clearly both. It’s potential that parental depart could also be a part of the quick time period incapacity protection (which might be as much as six months), however I simply can’t inform! We’ve about 10,000 workers so it’s an enormous firm.

I wish to ask somebody in HR for extra readability and alleviate a few of the stress I’m feeling about this, however I’m nonetheless a number of weeks away from being able to share the information with them, my supervisor, or any of my colleagues. If I have been to succeed in out to HR, what sort of confidentiality can I count on? I do know that they work for the corporate, not for me, and I’m apprehensive that they may carry it to my supervisor’s consideration even when I body it as a query “for the longer term.” Are you able to advise?

Usually talking, the bigger your organization, the safer it’s to ask — the much less likelihood an HR individual will point out it to your boss (and in addition the much less likelihood they’ll see it as a big disruption since they’ll have loads of expertise with individuals taking parental depart). At a ten,000-person firm, I’d simply go forward and ask. Body it as, “I hold which means to look into our parental depart coverage. I’m not capable of finding it on our advantages web site.”

They’re more likely to simply ahead it to you with out inquiry the identical manner they’d when you requested about medical health insurance open enrollment or related. But when anybody does ask you something, reply with a breezy, “No present plans, simply curious for now.”

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