When was the final time you had been inquisitive about one thing? If you had been so you misplaced monitor of time? In his e book, SEEK: How Curiosity Can Remodel Your Life and Change the World, curiosity professional Scott Shigeoka makes the case for adults studying learn how to be extra curious. He says curiosity doesn’t simply make life extra pleasing; it deepens our connections with others, reduces our fears and nervousness and reverses our society’s isolation.
Individuals typically affiliate curiosity with youngsters, however Shigeoka says individuals get extra curious as they age. He additionally provides that curiosity shouldn’t be a set state; we’re all born with it—a muscle we will develop at any level in our lives. It’s by no means too late to construct and deepen our sense of curiosity.
The three instructions of curiosity
“One of many massive misconceptions is that curiosity is barely an mental pursuit,” Shigeoka says, explaining that it usually goes in three instructions: outward, inward and past. Outward curiosity, which is usually directed at others, is what we’re most conversant in.
“Curiosity towards another person may help you to grasp their values or tales, what they care about and that makes them really feel seen, heard and valued as an individual,” Shigeoka says.
The second path, inward, is directed towards ourselves: “[It’s] getting inquisitive about myself, my feelings, my emotions, what I worth in life, what relationships are serving me, which of them are harming me,” he says.
The third path of curiosity is past, an curiosity in what lies exterior the bodily realm. It’s not essentially about spirituality.
“For some people, it is likely to be consciousness or the spirit of interconnectedness and all life for others,” Shigeoka says. “But it surely could possibly be getting inquisitive about your ancestors who’re now not alive or about seven generations from now. What’s the world that they are going to inherit? And the way do our actions at present influence their lives of their world seven generations from now?”
We’re every naturally extra vulnerable to be curious in a single path, and Shigeoka recommends training intentionality within the different path. Shigeoka says to start out inward should you’re uncertain the place to start out.
“I at all times inform individuals to start out from inward curiosity, get actually curious and particularly get deeply inquisitive about your self and your inside world,” Shigeoka says. “Ask your self questions that you simply may ask different individuals. Really feel what that feels wish to be requested these sorts of questions or to discover these sorts of questions.”
Not solely are there a number of instructions our curiosity can take us, however there are additionally various depths of curiosity. Shigeoka says deep curiosity requires extra time and power however brings richer outcomes. For instance, you could possibly ask somebody their title, after which go even deeper and ask in regards to the story behind their title.
Find out how to be extra curious at work
Curiosity improves our on a regular basis life and makes our workplaces extra productive, artistic and collaborative. Shigeoka factors out that individuals understand curious leaders as extra competent and reliable by their staff.
“If you would like your staff or group to imagine in you and to really feel like ‘OK, I can belief this individual and I like this individual,’ you should exemplify curiosity,” Shigeoka provides. He makes use of the DIVE mannequin to information leaders in curiosity audits with firms and college workplaces.
Find out how to improve curiosity: Use the DIVE mannequin
Detach: Let go of our assumptions, biases and certainties
“In our tradition at present, we cling to our assumptions and biases of others, however these assumptions can truly push individuals away and make them really feel unseen. They are often incorrect, they usually can result in battle,” Shigeoka says. “We have now to be taught to detach from certainty and really sit within the discomfort of not realizing typically.”
Intent: Put together our mindset for curiosity
Shigeoka recommends not leaping straight into the conversations when diving into deep curiosity. As a substitute, take into account your atmosphere and setting, the questions you’re hoping to ask and alerts that it’s best to decelerate or cease.
Value: See the dignity of individuals, together with your self
As a result of there’s a lot polarization and dehumanizing language utilized in social media, Shigeoka says it may be simple to overlook the humanity of those that don’t imagine the identical issues we do.
“It’s so essential to start out from this place of recognizing the humanity of the person who you’re being curious with, remembering that curiosity doesn’t imply settlement,” Shigeoka says.
Embrace: Welcome the laborious instances in our lives
Shigeoka describes the embrace section as welcoming the laborious instances, which helps us entry deep curiosity as a result of we’re not sinking into worry or nervousness.
In high-conflict conditions, a tradition of curiosity permits groups to navigate tensions successfully as a result of they’ve fostered an atmosphere the place everybody feels heard. We could discover a optimistic ripple impact as we develop our curiosity muscle tissue. Shigeoka says, “In the event you’re curious, others will comply with go well with, particularly these you supervise, as a result of curiosity is contagious in that manner.”
Iona Brannon is a contract journalist primarily based within the U.S. You may learn extra of her work at ionabrannon.com.