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I believe my boss was a cheerleader in one other life — Ask a Supervisor

A reader writes:

I do know it’s unusual to complain that my boss praises me an excessive amount of — however she does, and it’s getting on my nerves! Only for finishing pretty fundamental duties, she’ll say “You’re crushing it!!” or “So grateful for you!!” I really feel like there’s a cheerleader waving pom-poms in my face, or perhaps some amped-up Peloton teacher screaming encouragement.

I’m bothered on a number of ranges: 1) I’m simply extra of a low-key individual, and this isn’t my factor. 2) I’m skilled sufficient that lavish reward for each little accomplishment feels patronizing. And three) I don’t just like the job. I’m making a good-faith effort to do the work effectively till I can discover one thing else, however the hyper-enthusiasm simply makes issues worse after I don’t actually wish to be there.

The job is totally distant, so a variety of that is occurring over Slack and e-mail (with occasional video calls). If we had been in individual, I really feel like it might be simpler to behave politely put-off by all this (weak smiles, mumbled responses). That’s not as simple on Slack, although I attempt — perhaps simply sticking a minimal “thumbs-up” emoji on her over-the-top reward, hoping she’ll see that I’m barely placing up with this and positively not feeling additional motivation.

I don’t know in case you can counsel something on this, although I’d love some concepts. (I positively don’t wish to have a dialog the place I find yourself revealing that I’d actually wish to give up!) However perhaps you possibly can run this letter as a public service announcement that not all workers are motivated by cheerleading!

The truth that it’s principally occurring over Slack and e-mail truly makes it simpler to easily ignore. You don’t want to reply to messages like “You’re crushing it!!” or “So grateful for you!!” You could possibly mentally convert these issues to a lower-key “thanks” and simply allow them to be the final message within the change.

Your boss most likely isn’t anticipating “THANK YOU I’M SO GLAD TO BE HERE I LOVE EVERY MINUTE OF THIS WORK” in response anyway. In truth, you don’t even must do the thumbs-up acknowledgment each time. It’s actually nice to let her enthusiastic cheers be the top of the thread. Throw in a smiley-face in response sometimes and also you’re good.

It additionally will assist in case you can let go of the concept that you want to discover a option to let her know that you just don’t like this model of encouragement. It sounds such as you’re on the lookout for a option to get her to cease — or higher but, to know you — however really, the trail of least resistance is to simply not care. The strategies you point out utilizing in case you had been in-person (weak smiles, mumbled responses) most likely may not have labored anyway — she would possibly simply take them as additional proof that she wants to assist pump you up. Actually, the one option to get it to cease can be to have a dialog the place you clarify that this model is off-putting to you … and I simply don’t suppose you want to hassle when it’s simple to disregard.

That’s very true because you’re actively engaged on leaving; in case you in any other case liked the job and needed to construct an extended profession working collectively, there can be extra potential profit in talking up.

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