worker named his canine after his supervisor, coworker retains cooking for me, and extra — Ask a Supervisor

I’m on trip. Listed below are some previous letters that I’m making new once more, somewhat than leaving them to wilt within the archives.

1. When an worker names his canine after his supervisor

One in every of your staff will get a canine and he names it after his supervisor and makes positive he tells all of his coworkers. I feel that is disrespectful. What do you suppose? (And no, it’s not a typical identify.)

It’s both disrespectful or … an indication of honor! Particularly if the supervisor has a humorousness. It’s laborious to guage it with out extra context, like what this worker is like extra broadly. Are there issues together with his efficiency or angle? Does he appear to dislike the supervisor? If that type of factor is true, then the supervisor needs to be focusing there — however I wouldn’t get too labored up concerning the canine identify alone.


2. My coworker retains cooking for me, and my very own meals goes to waste

This looks as if it shouldn’t be an issue, however I’ve a coworker who overwhelms me with homecooked meals. I’m in search of a method to decline meals that he has ready, or to ask him to chop manner again on how typically he brings me meals. We’ve totally different cultural backgrounds and I don’t need to offend him — I perceive that he enjoys cooking and there are challenges to cooking for one individual. However I additionally spend numerous time planning and getting ready meals for myself as a part of my psychological well being self-care and I hate losing meals. so it actually bothers me to have a fridge stuffed with groceries that I’ve deliberate for the week after which discover three (or extra) full meals from him ready on my desk.

I’ve tried providing it to different individuals in my workplace, however it feels awkward that he solely cooks for 2 of us. The meals is normally scrumptious, and the thought is appreciated, however it’s inflicting me stress and I don’t know how one can sluggish this down. Any recommendations of scripts or how one can deal with this case could be appreciated.

“I’ve began doing numerous cooking and don’t need to waste meals, so I shouldn’t settle for any extra, however thanks for all of the wonderful meals you’ve shared.” In the event you wished to (though it’s okay if you happen to don’t), you may add, “Perhaps we might do a swap in the future a month the place we every share one thing we’ve cooked?”

If that doesn’t get the message throughout and meals preserve displaying up, you may say, “I’ve bought a fridge stuffed with meals so I can’t take this, however perhaps there’s another person right here who would take pleasure in these?”


3. My boss punished me by eradicating the instruments I have to do my job

I’ve began in a brand new place. We’re getting a brand new administration system right here at work, and our boss made up a survey/check (not required by the group) to be accomplished over the weekend. I had a household emergency the place a member of the family has per week left to dwell, so the project fully slipped my thoughts. Upon my return to the workplace on Monday, my boss eliminated my and my coworker’s entry to the system as punishment. Nonetheless, the system makes up 98% of our day-to-day work and he or she doesn’t “know” when she’ll return our entry. I’m making an attempt to be calm, however this impacts each single mission that I’ve and he or she is thought to jot down harsh feedback on efficiency critiques for incomplete work. Is there a manner I can deal with the scenario in order that I can nonetheless get my work completed?

Your boss determined to take away your potential to do 98% of your work? (Ridiculous factor #1.) As “punishment”? (Ridiculous factor #2.) As a result of you’ve gotten a dying member of the family? (Ridiculous factor #3.)

Your boss is a horrible supervisor, and a horrible human.

Managing isn’t about “punishing” individuals (!) and it’s undoubtedly not about stopping individuals from doing their work. Please know that is outrageous and never regular and never okay.

As for what to do, you may say to her, “I’m not capable of do the overwhelming majority of my work with out entry to the system. What would you want me to concentrate on in the meantime, till I’ve entry again?”

However you’ve simply realized that you just’re working for a nightmare, and also you’ll need to plan accordingly. (That sounds imprecise, however it might imply something from “begin job looking instantly” to “know she’s horrid and anticipate extra outrages,” relying in your scenario and what choices you’re feeling you’ve gotten.)


Learn an replace to this letter right here.

4. My interviewer turned out to be a distant cousin

I not too long ago went for an interview and spent half the time making an attempt to determine why one in all my interviewers seemed so acquainted. It didn’t daybreak on me till on the way in which house it was a distant cousin of mine. I see that facet of the household as soon as, perhaps twice per yr. I’m undecided at this level if he acknowledged me, both by my identify or once I got here in. Nonetheless, we did name one other relative to ask the place he works to rule out the potential of an eerie look alike, they usually confirmed that was him.

I wouldn’t suppose twice if he was simply on the interview panel, and contemplating it’s a household owned and operated enterprise, I don’t suppose they’d thoughts two cousins in the identical workplace. Nonetheless, he could be my boss. We aren’t shut, so I wouldn’t thoughts, however I don’t need him to really feel awkward. I used to be requested in for a second interview with another person within the group (all my correspondence has been together with his coworker, so I haven’t talked to him immediately except for sending a post-interview thanks electronic mail). Ought to I disclose it? Ought to I contact him someway and ask if he’s snug with this? I nonetheless don’t know at this level if he is aware of it’s me since we see one another so little.

Sure, it’s best to disclose it. If the corporate is wise, they gained’t need a relative immediately managing one other relative due to the potential of bias or the looks of favoritism. And also you’re much better off disclosing it now and discovering out whether or not it’s a problem, somewhat than discovering out after you’re on the job that they take into account it prohibitive.

Begin together with your relative. I’d ship an electronic mail saying one thing like, “I didn’t join the dots till after I left, however I simply realized you’re Percival Montblanc’s son! My mom, Clarissa Plufferton, is his cousin. I’m undecided if this complicates my candidacy for the __ function, which I stay extremely involved in, however I figured I ought to disclose it.”


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